Can Ice Cream Bring Lasting Happiness?
Imagine if you ate ice cream every day — would you become happier? At first, when someone occasionally treats you to ice cream, you feel joyful and grateful because it’s a special treat. But if you had enough money to eat ice cream daily, along with new toys or fresh experiences arriving every day, that initial happiness would soon fade. When good things become too easily available, we stop cherishing them, and our sense of gratitude disappears.
Economist Tibor Scitovsky pointed out: “True happiness comes from incomplete and intermittent satisfaction of desires.” This idea deserves careful thought — happiness does not come from unlimited indulgence, but from occasionally and sporadically obtaining what we want. This applies to all good things in life — whether it’s delicious food, passionate love, or luxury cars. When these experiences are rare, they excite and satisfy us; but when they become daily expectations, they lose their freshness and may even turn into dull comfort.
Scitovsky also emphasized that wealth often transforms exciting novelty into a “stable but boring” comfortable life. We get used to good things, and our emotional responses naturally weaken. Whether it’s the birdsong and flowers in the park or the stench of street garbage, repeated close exposure dulls our initial feelings and makes them less intense.
Breaking Habits: The Secret to Rediscovering Joy
Because habits numb us, the key to rediscovering happiness is “de-habituation.” This means consciously keeping some distance from the beautiful things we usually take for granted so they can regain their freshness in our minds.
For example, a clean and tidy kitchen, exquisite artwork, or the green trees outside the window—all lose their charm when they become everyday scenes. If you step away from your familiar environment for a while, you can return and be reawakened by their beauty.
Interruptions and changes in life are essential to stimulate newness. Even small changes, like taking a different route each day, visiting a new café, or trying something new occasionally, can effectively reduce the numbness caused by habituation and bring more joy.
Laurie Santos, a renowned happiness professor at Yale University, suggests using imagination to shift our feelings. Close your eyes and imagine losing your job, family, or home, and how difficult life would be. Then imagine the happiness and fortune of still having them. Like waking from a nightmare, this makes you truly appreciate what you have. Even if you’ve grown used to some good things, this mental exercise can renew your sense of gratitude and satisfaction.
Midlife Crisis: The Inertia of Life and the Loss of Passion
The so-called “midlife crisis” largely arises from the repetitive nature of life and work. Day after day, year after year, life becomes more stable, with fewer changes, less learning and challenge, and less uncertainty about the future. While stability symbolizes security, too much sameness leads to boredom, and passion and motivation gradually fade.
To combat this, we can try injecting “freshness” into our lives. For example, taking on a “100-day challenge” each year by setting a new goal—learning a skill, starting a new sport, or traveling somewhere new. These new experiences stimulate the brain and help us feel energized and happy.
Research shows that spending money on new experiences (travel, concerts, sports events, courses) brings more lasting happiness than buying material goods like new cars, houses, or electronics. The novelty of possessions quickly fades, but experiences and memories mature and become more precious over time.
Hiking along the coast, trying skydiving, taking music lessons, or spending a weekend at a luxury hotel—these brief but unique experiences replay in the brain, generating lasting pleasure. In contrast, newly purchased items soon fade into the background and become unnoticed.
How to Increase Romantic Experiences in Life?
What is the essence of romance? Oscar Wilde once said, “Being in love is romantic, but a proposal with a clear goal is not romantic at all because the excitement completely disappears.” Romance arises from the unknown and uncertainty—the mystery and anticipation are what flavor emotions.
If the movie Titanic were rewritten so the couple safely reached New York, the passion and tension of their love story would likely fade. Similar reality applies: mundane relationships turn passion into boredom.
Sexual relationships are the same. Keeping novelty and variety is key to maintaining desire. Security and stability are important, but predictability can kill passion. Scientific studies find that couples who spend some time apart can actually increase mutual attraction. The longer the separation, the stronger the sexual interest tends to be.
Therefore, couples wishing to maintain romance should consider reducing constant togetherness and add a “separation-reunion” rhythm. This balance is delicate: you need both quality time together and enough personal space. Marriage counselors often recommend each couple find their own “sweet spot,” such as spending some time apart each evening or a few days every few weeks. This helps keep the relationship fresh and passionate.
Comprehensive Tips to Enhance Life’s Happiness
- Cultivate Gratitude
Imagining losing important people or things helps you realize your good fortune and significantly boosts happiness. - Change Habits and Create Interruptions
Consciously breaking daily monotony—trying new hobbies or changing routines—activates novelty and joy. - Keep Learning and Challenging Yourself
Learning new skills and seeking new experiences injects vitality and alleviates midlife fatigue. - Value Experiences Over Possessions
Spending on travel, courses, and cultural activities brings more sustained happiness than material goods. - Maintain Mystery and Space in Relationships
Keep romance alive by creating surprises and changes, while giving each other enough independence.
Midlife crisis is neither inevitable nor incurable. By scientifically understanding the nature of happiness and recognizing how habits dull our feelings, we can consciously change our lifestyles. Creating new experiences, maintaining appropriate mystery and romance, and adjusting interpersonal distances can effectively raise our happiness and life satisfaction.
Remember: happiness and romance often hide in the “gaps” and “changes” we overlook. Learn to appreciate and cherish them, and your midlife will not be a crisis—but a fresh new beginning.